Singles Dating Forum: Online Dating Relationships Advice: Needs Help With Getting Nice Guys Interested - Singles Dating Forum: Online Dating Relationships Advice

ok, so the last real boyfriend i had was in my junior year of high school, i still liked my ex who i'd been w/for a yr and a half and the guy slapped me around

well, i dated a boy i thought was a nice guy my senior year of high school, but we only dated for 5 days and we slept together (prom night mistake kinda thing) and 20 minutes after he dumped me, so i don't exactly count that...

well the point is i'm about to be a sophomore in college and i haven't had a bf for almost 3 years!! not even any prospects!!

what i see as my bigest problem is that when i'm interested in a guy, i try to come off nonchalant and i just end up sounding bitchy or as though i don't care or sometimes too interested

lately the only people who show any intrest what so ever are lesbians...

What are some things i might try to get myself to act how i really am? What can i do to get GUYS to like me? Is it normal for someone my age (i'm 18 btw) to not have had a relationship, or even a prospect of one, for so long?

Someone please help me out here...

Dear VelvetVelouria

I think that it is normal to be single at any age and not to be in a relationship. Some people are so afraid to be on there own that they are willing to be with anybody, even with partners who treat them badly. In this regards it is better for someone to be on there own rather than be unhappy and in a bad relationship.

When you say that you behave in a "nonchalant, bitchy or uncaring manner" when you are interested in a guy, is this something that you do on purpose (such as not the real you) or is it an automatic response?

If it is something that you know you feel yourself doing then it is a habit that you definitly need to address and change. You are either sending out the wrong don't approach me signals or come of as too eager. Both of which are not very conducive towards finding a nice guy.

Have you assessed the type of guys that you are going for? Perhaps you need to widen your criteria to include guys that you would not normally date. You said previously that you still liked your "ex who slapped you around?" If it is the bad boys that you like then perhaps you need to sit down and have a serious think
whether liking such type of guys is really healthy or wise.

The attributes that both genders like in general is someone who is confident, funny, smart and caring. Do you know how you treat your friends, colleagues at work etc? How do you treat your male friends? If you don't have any then you might want to make some. Even if there are no romantic vibes with them they might have friends they could introduce you to.

If you really want to be in a relationship then you have to put yourself out there. To network with people from all sorts of life and meeting them in different places, not just clubs/bars etc. Continue being the type of person that people like in general such as friendly and caring and I'm sure that a nice guy will come your way eventually.

Good luck with it - Bud.

Hi VelvetVelouria,
I totally agree with Bud that its normal to be single at any point in your life. Relationships are the hardest thing to explain and control in our lives. We never know when love will hit us nor when it will leave us suddenly. I'm also single for the last one year and I know how it feels to pen for love almost every single day. But when I refelct about it, I found that I thought alot about my past relationships with my other gfs and what went wrong with it. Most of the time, its a problem of incompatibility and clash of characters. So, I kinda sometimes enjoy being single and free from some of the quarrels that resulted from such past relationships. Its a tough period, and we can't guarantee that we would find the ideal partner in our life, but we can only try to make more friends and meet more people, hoping that someday we can find that ideal him or her. Gd luck to everyone who are in the same predicament as us, may that day be very near us now.