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Having Faith In Your Other Half And Letting Them Have A Life Of Thier Own


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#1 Heart_Break_Kid

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Posted 14 October 2011 - 05:43 AM

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So, we were out with some friends, hanging out in the arcade. I was locked in a thrilling game of table tennis with some friends. So this guy approaches my girl and begings making conversation. He was intrigued by her hair, she had actually tried a kind of reddish die on it, and he complimented her on it. She looked really cute, and I observed, so I just smild, i mean,it feels good to know a guy is into your girlfriend. And it was not like a date where he came rudely and did it. So i didnt mind. They talked for a while, i noticed she was blushing, and he was really doing everything right, such as confidence, eye contact, etc. Eventually he asked her out, and she explained to him she was with me. So he apologised, and he saw me looking, and he smiled. Anyways, she went to the mall a few weeks ago with her friends, and apparenlty he was there, and she said he saw her and he waved. She said she felt a bit bad that she had turned him down, after how he came all confident, so she decided to just show him she appreciated it, and she went over and said hello. So they talked, and well, turns out, he asked her for her BBM pin, and said, that although she is unavailable, he would like to be her friend, because they got a lot of the same interests. So they exchanged, and well, i guess over the time since then, they have grown close. They are always chatting online and stuff, and meeting up! Lol, i know, its wrong to be jealous, and yes, she has a life of her own, but i am like wondering.

She has been very honest thus far, she tells me when they go out, she mentions what they do, she doesnt hide anything, and she is very open. Our relationship is really nice. But I am wondering if perhaps there is more you know. I mean, she felt bad for rejecting him because of how brave he was, but shouldn't she not feel that way, i mean, we are together, so technically he was not rejected, he was more, explained to. Anyways, they are pretty close. And i mean, the guy, he asked her out, flirted, met her, everything, and i mean, you can't just go from that to accepting friendship. What if he has ulterior motives? I trust my gf, i know she wudnt do that, and if she does leave me, i will accept it. But do you guys think I should be worried here.

Geez, i just got over the deal with one of her friends being all love dovey with her, not a flirter is into the mix lol. I have expressd some of my concerns to her, and she assures me they are friends, and she is not leaving any room for him to make any moves, but i mean, u know... relationships build... things happen. I guess it is a silly thread, but it also is alarming lol. Then it is kind of unfair, because I do get to be friends with other girls, even those i just met... and she never minds or says anything. But then again,, i dont mind her with guy friends, but my main concern, this guy showed interest, he asked her out, settled for friendship. SO HE COULD EASE THE BOYFRIEND OUT?? >.<

#2 Bud

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Posted 27 October 2011 - 11:39 AM

Dear Heart_Break_Kid

Your relationship has withstood her previous guy friend and will probably do so with this one. You said that you had a good relationship with her so you shouldn't need to worry about this guy easing you out. She doesn't sound like the type of girl who would dump someone just to "upgrade" so to speak.

If she respects your right to have girl friends then you gotta respect her right to have male friends. If you were to start causing friction between you because of this then this could lead to trouble. For her to have other male friends could actually enhance your relationship because if she feels desirable to others then it makes her feel good about herself. As long as she comes back to you and shows you affection then you have nothing to worry about.

All the best - Bud

#3 AsianBeauties

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Posted 28 October 2011 - 11:33 AM

Hello. It's a very natural emotion to be jealous, so don't be afraid of it, you are rightly recognising it and expressing it to your g/f. Having faith in your other half and letting them have a life of thier own seprate to the one you share is part and parcel of a loving and trusting relationship. Sounds like it is going well so far, in that you are both aware of what is happeneing so keep this up. Do not let these feelings turn into insecurities otherwise they will destroy what you have. Good luck :)

#4 Heart_Break_Kid

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Posted 30 October 2011 - 05:41 PM

True, we do completely respect each other's space. I never get in the way of her time with her friends, not does she get in mine, even though we know each other's friends. We really hate when ppl become all about their couple and not their friends, and we realise we have more to discuss when we are out of each other's lives. You know? So yeah I do have faith in her, i don't for one second doubt her. But guys ae different from girls though lol. You can trust a girl around a guy, u cant trust a guy around a girl haha. I know i sound like an idiot lol. But honestly, i dont mind. She has so much guy friends, goes out with them a lot, its just, does she really need to make a new one? lol.

Yes, we do keep up to speed of how we feel. Just last night, we were watching tv, and she kept bbm-ing an awful lot. So I kept inquiring if it was him, and she was torturing me saying it was, until I realised it was one of her girlfriends. Then she began making fun of me being jealous, and she baby talked me and hugged me and stuff. It felt nice to some extent that she recognises this, and assures me its nothing.

Okay I will try not to view being jealous as an issue. It is just hard cause the guy is really her type you know. I mean, I am her type as well, but he kind of reminds me of myself. He is actually cuter than me and more charming, and around him she is always smiling and happy you know. So i guess that is where my insecurity lie lol.

But yes, I will maintain our relationship like this. whenever we have any insecurites, just discuss it out rather than hold it in, and make false accusations.

Probably it doesnt help when some friends have to keep pointing out that she goes out 1 on 1 with him a lot. I mean, its perfectly natural i believe, because he doesnt have any connections to our circle, and neither does she to his, so they see each other alone. These friends are also the type that if you are in a relationship, everyone else becoems dead to you. And i am so grateful she and I are not like that. When I am out with my friends, I am out with them! would hate it if she always calls and texts me or always have to be around.

Well thanks for the responses. Somehow though, despite all these insecurities and jealousy, i still think she is the one for me. I love her a lot, and i will strive to never let simple things like this get in the way. Thanks again!




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