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Talking To A Girl From A Dating Site Should I Bother?


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#1 Thadigan

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 12:01 AM

Master The Fine Art of Talking to Women?

What should you look for to know whether he/she's truthful and suitable mate for you? Date a woman on par with you. As in don't reach out of your league.

How to Start and Keep The Conversation Going?

How to lead casual conversation with a romantic spark? Aspects of flirting that distinguish it from the ordinary courtesy. What are attraction turn-offs for most people?

How to Talk to Women Without Seeming Desperate?

How to find something in common to talk about? What kind of signs do girls give you when they're interested? Follow this advice and eventually you will have to work on figuring out which girls you want to keep.

Here is my situation. I started talking to a girl from a dating site a couple of weeks ago. We really hit it off, texting daily for hours and then she asked if she could call me "to see what I sounded like". we talked for a couple of hours, and the next day she called me again within minutes of her getting off work and we talked for more. this was Sunday and Monday (its the following Sunday now)

Here is where it gets complicated. We had tried to set up lunch to meet a couple of times, and we are both quite busy with work and each had to cancel twice. On Tuesday, While texting, she asked if I had any other "interests". I joked about her choice of the word interests and then told her that evidently I am picky as to whom I considered interesting, so no. then i asked her and she said "kinda..." then explained that she had been talking to a guy from out of state for several months, and he was "more or less just a friend" but was coming to visit for the weekend. She admitted that she was curious about whether I was talking to anyone else, and was trying to figure out a way to tell me about the situation. She said that it was because she was interested in me that she told me, and when I indicated that I understood but it felt like suddenly i was on a game show, she said she felt like crap and just didn't want there to be any secrets, and understood if she had "lost some points"

the next day, we finally had our lunch. Of course there were a few jitters, but we talked just like we had been, and afterwards she immediately texted me with the question "I have to ask, what did you think?" to which I replied that I already knew she was interesting, and she was very engaging and pretty in person. She replied that she "really really liked my eyes". I asked if i was still an "interest" and she said "still interested...you?" Of course I said same. Again this was Wednesday.

She had said it was going to be busy second half of the week preparing for taking off for the weekend to drive and pick up the friend from the airport (taking Friday and Monday for the drive) and take him back, and planning a birthday party for her brother this weekend as well. We chatted a bit on wednesday night and Thursday via text while we were at work, and last night she was not talking. I mentioned to her on Thursday that I would probably leave her alone for the majority of the weekend, considering she had company and quite frankly it would be weird for me. Her reply was "alright if you insist."

Not hearing from her Thursday night caused me to do something that might have been dumb. basically i sent her a long text after a few short ones with no response stating that i was wondering if she was retreating. I said I wasn't trying to be clingy, I just wanted to make sure there was a point in me pursuing, and it was just her being busy and not that it had anything to do with meeting me or whatever. I think the problem I was struggling with was even though I had known beforehand it was going to be a busy end of the week, the timing of it (right after we met) got me paranoid. anyway even though she hadn't responded to the two previous, she immediately responded to that one with "I'm sorry I've given you the impression that I am retreating, I really am not, I have just been really busy after work." then my dumb self decided not to reply to that one at all, instead choosing to answer her around noon Friday with "its fine. have a good weekend" and I have not heard from her since. Probably won't for the rest of the weekend, for various reasons.

Anyway, I am just wanting general feedback as far as where people think I stand, where I have screwed up, where I should go from here, and If
there is a point to it all. The guy for the weekend thing I know I am going to struggle with, they had arranged it before I had ever come into
the picture, but he's known her for months more than I have. What do I do?

#2 Bud

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Posted 20 July 2011 - 11:51 AM

Dear Thadigan

From what you have described in your post you have acted the way that any other guy would have acted if he was in your shoes. Whilst text messaging has become an easy and effective communication channel between people, it's not an ideal tool to "court" someone so to speak. The very ease in which you can send and receive text messages requires a certain amount of discipline from both parties to maintain.

It is just to easy to assume that someone is ignoring us if they do not respond to us straight away. Whilst it doesn't take much effort to send a text message we can all suffer from "texting fatigue" so to speak.

I do not think that your late text message would have caused irreparable damage to your fledging relationship with her. If it has then she's definitely not a lady worth pursuing. Unless you have done so already I would probably give her a call to see how her weekend was and whether she was interested to go on another outing.

The only real way for you to get to know each other is to spend more time with each other. At the present point in time it's impossible to put together an accurate picture of whether you are both compatible or not because there is only so much that you can obtain from speaking on the phone, online and texting. Nothing can truly replace face to face contact, not the hundreds of hours that you spend online, via phone, or text.

Good luck with it - Bud.

#3 Robot Gayle

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 08:11 AM

I've been facebook friends with this girl for quite some time now and I don't think we've ever talked... Ever. Weird, I know, but it's true. She's an aspiring tattoo artist, and by her looks she seems to be "out of my league". One thing that caught my eye is that she plays video games such as Halo and Battlefield. I am a pretty big geek my self, and those things tell me that she might be interested in a geek. She never mentions much in her status updates, and she usually keeps to her self.

#4 AsianBeauties

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Posted 20 September 2011 - 04:24 PM

How are you getting on now, do you still see her?




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