Singles Dating Forum: Online Dating Relationships Advice: Friends Is All She Sees It Being Between Us. - Singles Dating Forum: Online Dating Relationships Advice

A while ago I asked out a woman - an unbelievably attractive woman in my opinion - but I was turned down. (There is an 8 year age difference between us means anything here, and I am the older one with both of us being in our 30's.) I asked her face to face if I could get her number and if she would like to go out sometime for dinner, or drinks.

Long story short, she said that she was extremely flattered about the compliments I gave to her and also that I asked her out by having the guts to "go after" the girl in the way that I had done. However, she told me that she didn't think that we would be a "good match" and that if we went out it would be "just as friends".

What I want to know is there anything that I might do to change this if I did ask her out again somewhere... as "friends"?
Is this a hopeless situation because she already has formed an opinion and it can't be changed?

Perhaps I am dense and not thinking straight, but I really don't understand how she can formulate an opinion about whether or not we would be a good match when she doesn't even really know anything about me. Her ideas have to only be formulated on my appearance and a couple of brief conversations that I have had with her previously. She honestly does not know much about me at all to have formed that opinion already.

I guess I need to know if it is worth persuing or not. I know that really only I can tell if it is, but I am interested in other opinions.

I really am attracted to this woman and I would obviously like for there to be some sort of future. I would at least like to get a date or two to have a chance!

Dear ShyGuy

In the case of this woman you will have to be friends with her first. If you were to ask her out on the premise of it being a date date then she will probably continue to say no.

If she is willing to go out with you as a friend then it will at least give you the opportunity to impress her and see if there is any potential between you for the future.

Right at this point in time she she has got some pre-conceived ideas as to what your personality is like and how you two would fit together. It's her intuitive reasoning against what you are really like as a person.

Whilst some women are adamant about there choice in guys others can change their mind over time. Since we don't really know how securely you are boxed in as a friend you will just
have to go out as friends and find out.

You might want to confide in your other female friends and see what they think of the situation? Perhaps you can invite a few people from work, some friends and her over for a
small little get together? This way your friends can have a chat to her and maybe even put
in a good word for you?

Good luck with it - Bud.