Is She Just Being Friendly, Or Is She Interested And Being Cautious?

There's a woman that works in a convenience store near my office that I frequent often for lunch, etc. Every time we see each other, we always exchange smiles (not subtle smiles, but big toothy smiles), and if I don't say 'Hi' first, she does. We call each other by our names; she remembered mine just from my debit card. We laugh at each others jokes and stories. She often twirls her hair, displays her neckline and makes sure to attract my attention. There's been times where I've caught her looking at me and she smiles and looks away. She always makes an effort to engage me in conversation, even if I'm at another clerk's register.

The fact that I asked her out earlier this week and she responded with "I have a boyfriend" hasn't changed any of that. One thing that struck me as a bit odd is when I asked her out (I asked her out for coffee) was after the "I have a boyfriend" statement, she then responded "Although coffee does sound really good right now."

Is that 'code' for something? Perhaps some kind of subconscious admission of sorts?

I understand that women sometimes use the 'I have a boyfriend' line even if they don't really have a boyfriend, but as attractive as this woman is, I do believe she may indeed have a boyfriend. Even though she's told me that she has a boyfriend, it hasn't changed how we communicate with each other (verbally or non-verbally). I also understand that 9 times out of 10 when a woman uses the 'I have a boyfriend' line to show that they're not interested in any way, they'll also try to keep from talking to the guy.

Dear keno

This girl seems to be pretty outgoing so I doubt that the boyfriend line was used as a deterrence to prevent you from asking her out. It seems like a classic case of girlfriend has boyfriend but is also attracted to another guy.

Whether it means that her existing relationship is in trouble or not is anybodies guess, however it would be just as likely that she is just enjoying the attention from someone whom she finds appealing and who finds her appealing.

It could be that she is very comfortable with her existing relationship and does not even want to think about leaving him. However sometimes people will just find others whom they automatically attracted too or like.

I'm guessing that if you offered your hand in friendship that she would be all over it like a
rash. You could also make a play for her and see if you can steal her away from her boyfriend but it just depends on the type of person that you are. Are you the type to make friends now and see what happens later or are you the type to make a play for her regardless of whom she is with?

All the best - Bud.