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Hey!
Nice forum, new here!
A little backstory and then to the question...
I met this unbelievably attractive woman about a year or so ago, but it was only a brief encounter and with other people. At that time, she was with another guy who I thought was her boyfriend. (Turns out he wasn't!) Now, I have seen her from time to time (although rarely) and she has been in one time with this guy and another couple of times with her sister. Turns out after seeing her out and about a couple of weeks ago with another friend I decided to take a chance and find out what the story was with her, that is, if she was dating someone or not. Long story short is this... she's single. Much to my amazement!
I found this out about her through a friend who knows her sister.
This woman knows who I am, but that is it. I will see her at a function we will both be at this weekend and I have plan to ask her out then. I've got a major crush on her (I mean MAJOR) and don't want to do anything that might *beep* up my chances with her or scare her off.
Any tips or tricks that are out there that will help me to seal the deal and get her phone number at the very least?
Problem is... if I don't get the chance to ask her out at that function, what are my other options? Possibly going through friends of friends?
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Major Crush On A Woman That Doesn't Know I Have It On Her... How do I go about asking her out on a date?
MultiQuote#2 Guest_Bud_*
Posted 29 September 2009 - 08:41 PM
Dear ShyGuy
How fortunate for you to be able to have a second chance with this woman. You should definitely grab it with both hands and see what may come of this.
The way that I see this play out is that you have a 50/50 percent chance with her. You could be her type in which case she will give you her phone number or you could not be in which case she might say thanks but no thanks.
Despite all the gaming that you can do to get her phone number, when everything is said and done and you are on that first date, you can only be who you are as she will be who she is. If you are compatible and she also feels that chemistry towards you then you will have a relationship.
In essence what I'm really saying is that you can't really *beep* this up. No matter what the outcome is things will work itself out for you, if not with her then with someone else. Prepare yourself mentally for either outcome.
Being that she single there is every chance that she will give you a first date (unless your just not her type) You should definitely engage her at that function even though you may or may not ask her out. It would be a perfect opportunity to find out what she is like as a person.
You should only utilise your friends as a last resort. Should you require assistance from them then perhaps you can get them to set you both up on a "blind date" so to speak. Then if you and her do meet at a restaurant and you were friendly at this function then it could be a nice surprise for her as she would already know who you are. (Just remember to act surprised and clueless as well)
However if you do get a chance then definitely try to ask her out yourself because it will put you in a good light with her. She might be more liable to say yes just because you had the courage to try. Nothing ventured nothing gained, so venture forth and gain.
Good luck with it - Bud
How fortunate for you to be able to have a second chance with this woman. You should definitely grab it with both hands and see what may come of this.
The way that I see this play out is that you have a 50/50 percent chance with her. You could be her type in which case she will give you her phone number or you could not be in which case she might say thanks but no thanks.
Despite all the gaming that you can do to get her phone number, when everything is said and done and you are on that first date, you can only be who you are as she will be who she is. If you are compatible and she also feels that chemistry towards you then you will have a relationship.
In essence what I'm really saying is that you can't really *beep* this up. No matter what the outcome is things will work itself out for you, if not with her then with someone else. Prepare yourself mentally for either outcome.
Being that she single there is every chance that she will give you a first date (unless your just not her type) You should definitely engage her at that function even though you may or may not ask her out. It would be a perfect opportunity to find out what she is like as a person.
You should only utilise your friends as a last resort. Should you require assistance from them then perhaps you can get them to set you both up on a "blind date" so to speak. Then if you and her do meet at a restaurant and you were friendly at this function then it could be a nice surprise for her as she would already know who you are. (Just remember to act surprised and clueless as well)
However if you do get a chance then definitely try to ask her out yourself because it will put you in a good light with her. She might be more liable to say yes just because you had the courage to try. Nothing ventured nothing gained, so venture forth and gain.
Good luck with it - Bud
#3 Guest_ShyGuy_*
Posted 29 September 2009 - 11:53 PM
Thanks Bud!
I will give it my best effort at the event that we will be at to engage in conversation with her.
My only question is... what type of "gaming" can one play at that function to get her number? My first thought would be to just walk up to her and say hi and that she looks beautiful tonight and see where that leads to. Other than that I would appreciate some other potential thoughts and ideas.
Sorry to sound dumb. It's been a while!
I will give it my best effort at the event that we will be at to engage in conversation with her.
My only question is... what type of "gaming" can one play at that function to get her number? My first thought would be to just walk up to her and say hi and that she looks beautiful tonight and see where that leads to. Other than that I would appreciate some other potential thoughts and ideas.
Sorry to sound dumb. It's been a while!
#4 Guest_Bud_*
Posted 30 September 2009 - 10:22 PM
Dear ShyGuy
If she is as attractive as you say that she is then she would probably have heard this line of " I think that you look beautiful tonight" on quite a number of occasions. Whilst it's not a bad thing, if the last few guys who said this where complete fools then you could get into a bit of strife through indirect association.
I'm sure that there is plenty of material out there on this website and on the internet in general that you would probably find a clever solution to your problem. However to put my 50 cents worth you could try to do the following if you are game enough.
When you see her at the function and she is with another person, then just walk up to them, shake her friends and her hand and say "Hi my name is <your name> and I just love Mariah Carey, I love her particularly when she hits those high notes (and then pretend you are about to hit a high note and then look at their reaction and say nah I'm not going to do that) and then laugh it off and say, well that's enough about my shenanigans, what about you guys? I don't think that I got your names?
Either of two things could happen from this. The first being that she thinks that you are a very strange man and doesn't want anything to do with you or the second being that she has a sense of humor and it tickles her interest. One thing is for sure in that it will definitely leave an impression in her mind.
I guess What I'm trying to allude to is to go in there with the hope of making her smile. As long as you are genuine in your sincerity of getting to know her then you would have done your part. Go with what you feel is right for you. Walking up to her and saying that she is beautiful could work too because she might not have gotten a compliment like that in a while?!
All the best - Bud.
If she is as attractive as you say that she is then she would probably have heard this line of " I think that you look beautiful tonight" on quite a number of occasions. Whilst it's not a bad thing, if the last few guys who said this where complete fools then you could get into a bit of strife through indirect association.
I'm sure that there is plenty of material out there on this website and on the internet in general that you would probably find a clever solution to your problem. However to put my 50 cents worth you could try to do the following if you are game enough.
When you see her at the function and she is with another person, then just walk up to them, shake her friends and her hand and say "Hi my name is <your name> and I just love Mariah Carey, I love her particularly when she hits those high notes (and then pretend you are about to hit a high note and then look at their reaction and say nah I'm not going to do that) and then laugh it off and say, well that's enough about my shenanigans, what about you guys? I don't think that I got your names?
Either of two things could happen from this. The first being that she thinks that you are a very strange man and doesn't want anything to do with you or the second being that she has a sense of humor and it tickles her interest. One thing is for sure in that it will definitely leave an impression in her mind.
I guess What I'm trying to allude to is to go in there with the hope of making her smile. As long as you are genuine in your sincerity of getting to know her then you would have done your part. Go with what you feel is right for you. Walking up to her and saying that she is beautiful could work too because she might not have gotten a compliment like that in a while?!
All the best - Bud.
#5 Guest_ShyGuy_*
Posted 03 October 2009 - 09:25 PM
Ok.... an update to the story so far....
At the event I mentioned before where I needed to get this woman's number was very busy. It was actually a function where she was working and I was attending. (Should have mentioned that orignally.) Anyway... I did chat with her for a while and we sort of flirted some. I asked her if she would be there the entire night and she said that she would. However, she did not exactly stay through the whole event and when it was over, she was not there.
I did get a chance to see her the next morning at another place that I knew we both would be at. We again chatted for a short time and things were frienldy. There were a few other people tho and it was hard to get her attention on asking for her number. Long story short, I was able to get it (her personal number), but I did not get a chance to ask her then if she would like to go out sometimem either for drinks, or dinner.
What exaclty is my next move? Wait and call her, or call her right away?
Ask her out for drinks, or dinner then?!
(Help!!! I need advice.)
At the event I mentioned before where I needed to get this woman's number was very busy. It was actually a function where she was working and I was attending. (Should have mentioned that orignally.) Anyway... I did chat with her for a while and we sort of flirted some. I asked her if she would be there the entire night and she said that she would. However, she did not exactly stay through the whole event and when it was over, she was not there.
I did get a chance to see her the next morning at another place that I knew we both would be at. We again chatted for a short time and things were frienldy. There were a few other people tho and it was hard to get her attention on asking for her number. Long story short, I was able to get it (her personal number), but I did not get a chance to ask her then if she would like to go out sometimem either for drinks, or dinner.
What exaclty is my next move? Wait and call her, or call her right away?
Ask her out for drinks, or dinner then?!
(Help!!! I need advice.)
#6 Guest_Heart_Break_Kid_*
Posted 04 October 2009 - 12:09 AM
Well, now that you have the number, and you know her and havent spoken in so long you should give her a call. Find out what she been up to and tell her how much you were hoping to get to chat with her at the function, but you saw that she was busy. Then ask her if she would like to catch a movie or something.
You could ask her out for dinner/drinks if that is your style, but i usually find going to a movie is actually more ideal, so if you and the other person run into difficulty to make conversation, you have the movie to fall back on.
But if you two know each other well, then dinner or drinks won't be such a bad idea. Or maybe movie and then dinner?
You could ask her out for dinner/drinks if that is your style, but i usually find going to a movie is actually more ideal, so if you and the other person run into difficulty to make conversation, you have the movie to fall back on.
But if you two know each other well, then dinner or drinks won't be such a bad idea. Or maybe movie and then dinner?
#7 Guest_Bud_*
Posted 04 October 2009 - 08:28 AM
Dear Shyguy
I agree with Heartbreak kid, definitely give her a call if you haven't done so already. Before you do think of a place, date and time that you want to have dinner or coffee and then invite her. She gave you her personal number for a reason, so it's a good start.
Don't get bogged down with the details of the type of date that it is. If she is willing to give you a chance then she will accept whatever invitation it is that's on offer. Just pick one and let's see
where this can lead. It's exciting times ahead for you so enjoy it.
Good luck with it - Bud.
I agree with Heartbreak kid, definitely give her a call if you haven't done so already. Before you do think of a place, date and time that you want to have dinner or coffee and then invite her. She gave you her personal number for a reason, so it's a good start.
Don't get bogged down with the details of the type of date that it is. If she is willing to give you a chance then she will accept whatever invitation it is that's on offer. Just pick one and let's see
where this can lead. It's exciting times ahead for you so enjoy it.
Good luck with it - Bud.
#8
April Braswell 
- Newbie
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- Group: Members
- Posts: 4
- Joined: 06-May 10
Posted 06 May 2010 - 05:33 AM
Hi Shy Guy,
I'm reminded of the Casanova quote, Compliment a beautiful woman on her intelligence and an intelligent woman on her beauty. Engage her in conversation to establish rapport and draw her out as a unique person so she does not just think it is her physical beauty that draws you to her. Because in all likelihood, she gets that all the time and might be a bit bored by it.
Additionally, and this may all have passed already, but I thought it might benefit you in the future, women admire men with a plan. Don't just "ask her on a date" which is undefined. Have a plan. "I want to ask you on date to join me in going to the symphony in the park next Sunday afternoon. I thought we would enjoy a romantic picnic al fresco. How do you feel about that?" Have a handful of potential date plans. They do not always have to be expensive itineraries. However, certainly make them interesting and memorable occasions. Then you stand out as an impressive man!
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April
I'm reminded of the Casanova quote, Compliment a beautiful woman on her intelligence and an intelligent woman on her beauty. Engage her in conversation to establish rapport and draw her out as a unique person so she does not just think it is her physical beauty that draws you to her. Because in all likelihood, she gets that all the time and might be a bit bored by it.
Additionally, and this may all have passed already, but I thought it might benefit you in the future, women admire men with a plan. Don't just "ask her on a date" which is undefined. Have a plan. "I want to ask you on date to join me in going to the symphony in the park next Sunday afternoon. I thought we would enjoy a romantic picnic al fresco. How do you feel about that?" Have a handful of potential date plans. They do not always have to be expensive itineraries. However, certainly make them interesting and memorable occasions. Then you stand out as an impressive man!
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April
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