Does She Like Me?
Posted 19 August 2009 - 09:41 PM
One morning during the winter I got on the train to work and sat down next to a girl. Nothing unusal there, however at that time I never understood the effect she would have on me. Two stops after I had got on she got up to get off, at that point I knew Id like her. When I looked at her, I found myself looking into the biggest pair of black eyes (not as in been hit in the eye lol) and being given the sweetest smile I had seen.
Over the next couple of weeks I would see her from time to time and she seemed to glance over to me and I would glance back. In February things came to a head. One moring I got on and the train was packed. I saw the girl I liked. She had a bag in the middle seat of the three and someone else had the aisle seat. She looked at me and smiled a nervy smile and moved her bag off the seat. Pathetically I could only have smile back and stayed stood where I was. The fact there was someone elses coke bottle on the seat is a poor excuse really. When she got off the train at her stop her eyes looked sad and she smiled nervily again almost as though she felt she had done wrong. The day after that she sat near the door where I get on the train and made a play of looking for someone getting on at my stop. Pathetically again I did nothing. I was then off work for a week and when I came back she seemed to be ignoring me.
Over the next weeks she would sit in pretty much the same place and we would glance at each other quite a bit she gave me some other chances including:
Turning up at my stop (in the middle of nowehere) wehn our train had been cancelled. She even came and stood next to me.
Sitting on a seat near me and making a play of being bored
her friend who came on the train one day deliberately walking past me and looking me over.
When OI saw her with a lad on the train once, holding back from walking next to him and glancing over at me
One day when I felt really poorly, she looked at me wioth concern, another girl on the train was looking at both of us
A few weeks ago she got on the evening train with a lad and seemed to really be enjoying talking to him. At first I thought he was bf. He maybe, but he she is mixed race (I think) as was he and he had similar eyes. A few weeks ago she acted odd and avoided her friends on the train which they noticed.
The day after she got on the train and stood near, dressed amazingly sexily. She stood there playing with her hair, seemingly looking like her legs were longer and she was taller, and kinda glancing at me drooling from the corner of those eyes.
Im trying to work out if she was giving it the 'look what you could have had' or if she still likes me. Whenever I see her, she is always is touching her hair, brushing it with her hand away from her face. Take this morning I saw her waiting at the stop where she now gets on as the train pulled up, she stood by the door and started touching her hair, almost trying to straighten her pony tail if that makes sense. She got on the train and walked to the far door looking down the carriage and the walked back to the door where sahe got on and started playing with her hair. Shes always 'brushing' her hair from the right side of her face. When the train stopped at her stop she looked round and seemed to be looking my way. She did this twice within a couple of seconds. On another occassion I was obviously looking around the carriage for her when suddenly she got up for a minute or two and then sat down in a different seat. Its very strange how she always manages to stand where I can see her even in a crowd of people
So, did she like me, have I blown it, can it be salvaged. Ive no idea how to approach her, what do I do?
Some the body language shes used
Playing/ straightening her hair
Looking around the carriage towards my direction
Playing with the strap of her bag (mimicking stretching it)
Playing with her wrists
Appearing to be looking for someone on the train after she has got off (usually if I hadnt seen her)
A week or two ago when I got off the train she was leant out of her own looking for someone on the platform at my stop
Posted 20 August 2009 - 12:52 PM
What would you say if people told you that you have actually blown it? Would you really listen to their advice and avert your eyes from her forever?
I would argue with a fair amount of certainty that you would not. (At least I would hope not)
Deep down there is something inside of you which is telling you to go over there and talk to her.
The reason that you have reached this crossroad is because you have been bombarded with so many signals that it's almost impossible to ignore. Sort of like a lighthouse in a storm.
It is certainly possible that you could have dreamt all this up however equally could it be
possible that she is equally interested in you. If the latter is the case and you are lucky enough to grasp this opportunity with both hands then it could be the smartest move that you could have done to date.
Imagine the consequences of how you would feel many years from now if you let this one slide away without doing anything? Would you want to live with the guilt of having done nothing?
There is no doubt that approaching someone new is a daunting and a nervous task. However sometimes you just have to work through the fear and nervousness and do it anyway. Even if it was a false signal it is your duty as an interested party to find out for sure.
One suggestion that I would like to make is that you try to move closer to her if possible. Even if you pretend to read a newspaper or book whilst edging closer. Being far away is not going to help you in your cause and if your close then anything is possible. Secondly and this will sound cliche'd but perhaps you can forget to bring a watch one day and ask her for the time? (Your excuse can also be that your mobile has run out of batteries if needs be)
Once she responds then just flash her your warmest smile and introduce yourself. Hopefully your approach will pay off and you and her can get into some form of conversation going on the train. Don't think too much about doing this and just do it. Have the courage to get out of your comfort zone and be brave. You can do it!
All the best - Bud.
Posted 20 August 2009 - 08:31 PM
Thanks for the response.
In answer to your question I wouldnt avert my eyes from her if you told me that I had blown it. She has made me feel something that I dont think that I have ever felt before.
Part of the problem at the moment is getting close to her. I have no idea whether she will be on the train on any given day, or even if she is where she will be sat. When the train gets to its destination she is very quick to get off and walk away as the station is so busy it can be difficult to catch up. Plus right now she is always with a female friend at the moment which makes it harder.
I have been bombared by signals, but I have no idea what any of them mean
Posted 21 August 2009 - 10:27 PM
From what you have already described an opportunity should present itself eventually. You will just have to bide your time until this happens and maybe figure out how to best make your approach?
At it's core the various signals that you have received from her should not be scrutinized
individually but rather taken as a whole. That is that she has recognized your interest in her and that she has neither been indifferent to it and has definitely not said no.
If you were to list all the things that she has done to date you could either put a positive mark next to it or a not certain. Whilst trying to interpret these signals can give you a head spin, you should consider yourself fortunate that this is happening to you because something from a girl is better than nothing.
You have to admit that whilst your task is still a challenge to complete, you are in a better
position then if she didn't recognize your presence on the train. There is this small flicker of hope in the back of your mind that this girl could actually like you back.
This situation screams out "OPPORTUNITY/CHANCE WAITING" and it will be up to you to decide whether you want to continue to read signals or do something positive about it. You have got to switch your questions from does she/could she? to when and how? When can I approach her? How can I do this the best way? You have already identified some barriers to your mission now can you find the solution to them?
Like I have said previously, some guys get nothing from a girl and will still make the pursuit. How much evidence do you need to go after this girl that you like? Apologies if I seem pushy but I'm just trying to get you to be proactive about things instead of reactive. You seem to be bogged down in a decision that should have been made a couple of train rides ago and this is a dangerous thing.
Regards - Bud.
Posted 26 August 2009 - 12:53 PM
You are doing what to many men do which is over analyze. Listen what you need to do, regardless of what has happen, is to wake up every morning and look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that your the best thing to women since brad pitt.
Get your confidence up very face and then if you get on the train and she ends up being there you wait for eye contact.
Once you've got that eye contact, you walk over as if you are the coolest thing since Daniel Ocean!
And then you simply start speaking.
"You know, I noticed you already a few times on the train and I thought to myself, wouldn't it be great if we both had someone to talk to on our commute, Hi my name is (Your name here).
Thats all it takes!
Good luck man!
Posted 26 August 2009 - 08:05 PM
Thanks for the input. I realise that I do need to do something, but its been crippling wondering what to do until today.
Today when I got on she seemed to notice me get on the train as she glanced round to where I was sat. She was reading at the time and started to fiddle with her bookmark before deciding to stop reading and just listening to her music.
Nothing happened until we got near the final stop, when she decided to do quite an over-sized stretch and then lean forward in her seat, which lead to us both being able to see each other.
When the train pulled up rather than being up like a shot she stayed sat and then slowly got up, leaving us face to face. She shot a nice big smile, despite shaking like a leaf I manged to smile back and said hi. This brought another big smile and she replied back too.
Strangely despite the traun being late she also decided to walk, and went the same way that I do. She knows that I would go that way and again she didnt march off and seemed happy to be just infront of me getting annoyed with the wind messing her hair!!
I know its only a small step but I feel on top of the world for doing it (it prob seems sad for most people) but it took a lot for someone as shy as me to do it. I felt that she also was encouraging me a little. Her mate hasnt been around all week which has maybe helped her a little bit. I guess I just have to see how she reacts to me next time she sees me
Posted 26 August 2009 - 09:04 PM
Well done on your small progress with her. You did extremely well to smile and say hello. I doubt that anybody would think that your accomplishment is sad. We all want you to succeed so keep up the good work and persevere on.
One feels that in order for you to capitalize on your small victory you have to follow this up on your next train ride. You know that she is interested in you so you have to go with your gut instinct and just go for it.
I like Damien's casual approach of sidling up to her and introducing yourself in that manner. It's friendly, open and casual. I'm sure that she would be responsive to you if you were to approach her for a chat.
Build yourself up mentally to do this the next time that you see her Anthony. Do it quickly before her friend returns with her on that train. Maybe you can get her phone number or e-mail at the end so that you can continue to get to know her outside of train ride?!
She smiled at you first this time so you have to return the favor next time! I can imagine you
beating yourself up over this if she gets away from you so you better do something about it soon before it's too late.
Good luck with it - Bud.
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