Our Intimate Life In Details. I Do Not Know What To Do... What's Wrong With Us?

I have beautiful, attractive and well educated wife. We are together 7 years. We have two kids. We have sex time to time:) We tried all kind of sex. But we still have a problem. She does not want to have sex or acts this way. She wanted twice in 7 years).. She tries to avoid it. It continues since we started our intimate life. When we met, I had 9 years “sex experience”(I was 29), she didn’t look “experienced” (she was 27).

Our sex history:
First attempts were not successful. She could not relax and I could not get in. But she really enjoyed “masturbating me”. I used to ejaculate on her belly and breast. She really, really enjoyed. I expected to have perfect sex life in the future. Finally, having short vacation, in hotel, we had normal sex. Of course we had first small conflict (related with sex) before it (she was tired, wanted to sleep and so on). So it was our first night. Probably she could be virgin. I did not ask her about it. She was very shy. Started living together. I expected for hot sex every day. But sex was not often. Sometimes penetrations were painful and she refused to have sex or we had to quit sex because of pain. Problem and no sex period lasted 2 or 3 months. Finally we “solved” this problem and I expected to live “well and happily” all my life.
After a two years she started to talk about sex a little with me. Some time ago, I asked her to help me to find her clitoris. You know, she doesn’t know what is that! I opened Wikipedia and showed it. But we still can not find it. By the way, I have not many chances to “search” for it. We have intimate time rarely. Plus, when I give oral sex to her and try to find it and to give more pleasure to her, she ask me stop doing it and ask me for vaginal sex. Maybe I mistaken, bit it seems to me, that she wants to me to do it faster and to finish as soon as possible. By the way, we use lubricant, because her vagina is dry. Time to time penetration is also painful. What really helps to get wet is porno movie, we tried it last year. Her kisses are also “dry” or she does not kisses with me at all. I think she doesn’t know what is orgasm at all. As I noticed, she started to talk to me about sex, and now I know, that she never masturbated and does not know how to do it. I tried to discuss our sex history and sex issues, but it I made just “introduction”. Now, when we have a baby, we really do not have the proper time and place for solving our sexual issues.

MY friend, if I am understanding the post correctly then you are telling me that you did not have sex with her until you where married.

If that is the case and the sex is not enjoyable it is up to you to make it so.

Purchase toys and lubricants to play with. Be in control, be the aggressor but make it all about her. Get her to feel that it’s all about pleasing her. You set up a night of dinning, drinking and sex. Light up the room with candles; make her feel like she is a special porcelain doll that you control. She may need you to take more initiative.

No because of the complexity of this anomaly it may be better to get more advice from the pros on the site.

There are many other factors that can be involved but let’s start with that.

Good luck man

D