Posted 23 June 2009 - 04:15 PM
things that have happened: We joined a network marketing company together, so I will know him forever since i've agreed to do this business too. I've met his whole family. he told me that he only liked a few people at work, I was one of the 3,as well the only girl, other 2 were guys. and when I told him I liked him too, he said "well, you better!" with a smile Eye contact is ALWAYS there he always walks next to me, sometimes pretty close by if we are sitting beside each other, if anything touches, its lightly, and its either arms, or leg, he doesn't move away
The only thing that gets me is that he doesn't call me often, if he does its about a meeting we both planned to go to for our business. he does tell me to meet at his house and he will drive me and his mom to the location of the meeting. but he doesn't ask me to go anywhere with him other than this. Im usually the one who asks. and he has agreed to come with me to the times ive asked him, the past few times though hes been busy...so immediatley i worry thinking hes avoiding me...but yet he still talks to me everyday at work, shares some of his lunch with me a couple times, tells me what he did on the weekend, or asks me what i did, anytime he sees me he says my 1st name as a hello. he will sometimes run to catch up to me and walk with me in the same direction if hes heading that way too. I know I should just ask him...and eventually I will... I really do like him, we talk about everything, family, the future, the past, some likes or dislikes... he has even come to watch me at one of my tournaments one time...i thought that was a good sign... im just lost in my own thoughts though...this whole business thing is usually what we talk about... sure its a common intrest..
Am I just overthinking? and his feelings are still true? I'm almost at the point of sitting down with him. which i should have done already... I asked him today if he would like to attend a wedding with me, he asked questions about where, when, and its not till august, people are pitching up tents and drinking all night! Suppose to be a good time! but with all that said, he ended up saying "I think Im guna pass" Im ok with it, just a little bummed out. Im trying here, but...is he really that scared? Is he now pushing me away? or is the intrest gone? and when he said that today, he didn't walk away, he stayed and we talked more about other things. joked around. and then went our separate ways home. (I asked him after work in the parking lot) Any thoughts here??
I know that whenever i decide to sit down with him and ask him if he still likes me more than a friend...my only fear is him saying no. or that he doesn't want to go anywhere with it with me. even though thats life...im just tired of rejection. and im taking this "no" for the wedding as rejection... even though i probably shouldn't. Its nothing really formal.
Women need verbal communication, where i know guys can clam up forever about anything...but.. any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated, thanks
Posted 24 June 2009 - 09:35 PM
From what you have described in your post you have been the only one who has made any effort to kick start a relationship with him.
Whilst he shows you plenty of friendly chatter and banter at work he falls short of doing the things that a guy would do if he was interested in a girl.
You have correctly identified the amount of effort that you have to go to in order for him to hang out with you. His decline of your invitation to go to a wedding shows his reluctance to spend time with you outside of the working circle.
One would think that even out of courtesy for a friend he could have gone with you to just have a nice and fun time but even then he has declined without a good reason.
Human beings are very fickle when it comes to showing affections for one another. It is entirely possible for someone to give there affections on one day and then take it back completely the next.
This normally happens when a person is not honest and true about there feelings for someone. They drop there guard for a little bit, manage to mislead the other person and then when they realize that they made a mistake they almost feel like running away.
When they do this the other person wonders what they did in order for them to change there behavior towards them. Some continue to hold onto the moment when the other person has shown them affection not realizing that it wasn't based on a genuine and honest interest.
I hope that I'm wrong in this instance but his mannerism is more reflective of a friend rather than someone who was keen on a relationship. I would not even both to confront him about it and just not bother making any more effort to see him outside of work. You deserve better than that and he knows where to find you if he is keen.
All the best - Bud.
Posted 25 June 2009 - 05:00 PM
Thank you for your response. I appreciate it. I am taking your opinion to thought. I do agree I've done most of the work. He has done SOME small things, he's bought me supper a couple times, driven me to meetings, stuck up for me if someone is rude, but I guess anyone could do that. Deep down I find it hard to believe his intrest isn't there...just cause of what I feel and see when I'm with him, and since you can only go by the text I've written. But I know in order to find out if yours or my feelings about this are true, ill have to find out. I don't mind putting the effort into it, to ask, even though you say I shouldn't bother. I feel every bit helps. Cause I don't want to be wondering "what if" down the road. Again, women need communication.
Thank you again, I appreciate the time you have given. Can only hope someday I'll get somewhere with my efforts in life.and if it turns out your right about this, then life again will go on!
Posted 13 July 2009 - 10:28 AM
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