Dating After Divorce
Posted 19 June 2009 - 04:05 PM
Issue is.. 7 months ago... I met...and fell in love with someone new. All is wonderful. We are perfect together. Love each other very much. Our kids get along great.
He too was a victim of a cheating spouse. His soon to be ex cheated as well and got pregnant by another man. They have been living separate for over 2 years now. She is still with the other man (father of her new baby) and everyone is moved on and living their new lives... the only issue... is that STILL no paperwork has been filed to make their divorce official.
It's an issue that saddens me at times because its very hard for me to be excited about our future (which we talk about alot) (movign in together, marriage) until he takes the steps he needs to. He says its a financial thing...and yes, divorce can get expensive (mine cost almost 5k because my ex is a moron) But i just don't know what to do...I feel like every day I fall a little more in love with him... and my dreams for our future get bigger, and then I am reminded of the reality -- that he is STILL not divorced, and I get sad.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Posted 21 June 2009 - 11:10 AM
One of the primary things that causes people grief on this planet are focusing on events that are beyond their control.
The more that you tie your future happiness to his divorce the more that you will suffer unnecessarily. Worst case scenario is that you become so emotionally invested in it that it starts to affect your relationship negatively.
Although it is by no means an ideal situation that you are in you are better of focusing on building a strong relationship with him rather than being sad about his inaction.
You should not fear to fall in love with him because it could be the catalyst that will get him to get closure on his ex. If you are certain that his feelings for you are genuine then don't be scared to commit to this relationship.
Even if he does nothing his ex could very well start divorce proceedings before him. You would think that this is what her partner would want as well since he is in the same boat as you.
Whatever you decide to do or not to, don't suffer in silence. If you find that your moments of sadness lasts longer then talk to him or someone about it and or write it down in a dairy. Sometimes writing things down and "accidentally" leaving it out in the open can work wonders.
All the best - Bud.
Posted 01 July 2010 - 12:32 PM
I am Jessica.
Dating after divorce is not the bad thing....You are free to enjoy life.There is no any laws to stop what you are doing so...Keep Smiling always......
Posted 01 October 2010 - 01:59 AM
As you get to know each other through dating, make your own preferences known. See if you share in decisions and if your input is accepted and valued. If decision-making is all one-sided there is a big clue that you do not have a voice in the relationship.
If the fellow is separated, find out how long the separation has been. If too short, he may still be carrying a torch for you. Not long enough and he may not have looked at himself to figure out his own contribution to the demise.
It will take some effort on your part to be creative and put a plan into action each week. Give this the same importance that you give to planning a trip, advancing in your job or buying a new house. You will be amazed at the results.
Posted 09 November 2011 - 04:49 PM
Posted 26 April 2012 - 09:57 AM
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