Singles Dating Forum: Online Dating Relationships Advice: Recently Broken Up And Hurting Bad.... - Singles Dating Forum: Online Dating Relationships Advice

Im 16 and my girlfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We had lasted 1 year and 3 months, over that period of time we had been madly in love and nothing could seperate us until I started to get mixed emotions about her and I broke up with her 2 or 3 times but we got back together and I love her to death. She recently broke up with me, reasons were that I wasn't treating her right I always went off my friends and this has been a reality check for me I never realised that I was doing this until she broke up with me and told me. They say you don't know what you've got until you've lost them... And I just lost the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I have been crying lots and I'm extremely upset, I have been to see the school counseller as well as many friend for advice. I have been told to stay away from her, this will help me prepare to get over her and move on as well as make her realise her true feelings if she does really have any for me. Over the past 2 weeks I have been to see her non stop but I realise now that it was wrong. How can she miss me if Im always around her? Now im just trying to hang out with friends as much as possible and trying to move on. But I just found out that she has been seeing this other guy I confronted her about it and she was honest and told me she was interested in him. I cant help but feel so down, Im thinking that maybe if shes with him she'll realise her feelings for me but then maybe not. We have so many good times together her and I loved each other to death... Girls never forget anything good in thier life right? I told her I would do anything to get her back. I recently asked her a bunch of questions which was stupid... And here is what she told me..

- She doesnt miss me (well I was always talking to her since the breakup) trying to back off now...
- The only thing she misses is haning out with her best friend cause we used to spend all our time together
- She has a thing for this other guy
- She still loves me

She also wanted to be study buddies since exams are soon, but I disagree because I think if I was I would turn out to be more of a friend... I just want to know what to do to both make me get over her as well as make her miss me if she does still have feelings for me. We have really good history together I dont regret being with her. I know she is still attracted to me sexually, she said she missed kissing me. I cant stop thinking about her and whether she has kissed this other guy or not, our school holidays have just started (supposed to be revision time for exams) and I wont see her at school or at all for a while. I am also wondering what to do if she does call me or text me asking me to hang out. I would go to her... but people have told me not to, in order for her to help her miss me if she still has feelings. Also I was told to act like I didnt care much when she talks to me, to make her panic. I dont know whether her feelings with come back for me or whether she'll miss me, I am just pretending the relationship is over and I have to move on following advice other people have given me to make her realise what shes lost if she still cares. I still love her to death and miss her dearly...

Anything to add? To help?

Dear Mmd

As you are currently undergoing a breakup it is understandable that you are still feeling very hurt and upset. It is never easy no matter what age you are when your partner calls off your relationship.

In that you have seen a counsillor and consulted your friends was/ is a very good idea. You should continue to get yourself into the habit of consulting others when you are seriously hurting on the inside.

Most guys would be too proud or refuse to seek help after a breakup and because they isolate themselves this way they can become depressed very quickly and in the worst case scenario suicidal. In that you had the courage and smarts to seek out peope to create a support network shows a lot of wisdom on your part.

The advice that you have received up to this point of staying away from your girlfriend is probably a good idea. People can sympathise with your situation and they understand that time and eventually finding another girl to love will heal your wounds.

As far as I can see however you do have a number of other options available to you. The advice that people have given you so far entails accepting the breakup, enduring the hurts and moving on from her.

What I'm thinking is what would happen if you were to fight for your relationship instead of just accepting that it is over. You have broken up in the past two or 3 times and gotten back together again. If you can endure being around her and she wants to spend time with you then why not spend as much time that you can with her?

Why give the other guy free reign to court her as he pleases? As you have have said yourself her memory of you is still strong (she still missess kissing you) and just because she fancies him doesn't mean that there relationship is signed sealed and delivered. What if they broke up shortly after getting together? Would you take her back if she wanted too?

I'm not saying to force the issue of you guys getting back together but you do not have to be completely out of her picture just because you have broken up. It might be the case that when you are with her and she talks about her new boyfriend that you will come to realise that your relationship is indeed over and that you will move on? As you have described above you get on really well together and it would be a shame to loose her friendship.

You should not make this breakup into an all or nothing affair. I'm sure that since you love her that you would want her to be happy. In this regards if you can assist each other during the exam period then you should do it. Who knows it might spark something but if it doesn't then that's okay too.

When/if you are with her hope for the best but be realistic about the worst case scenario. It's all about life experiences. What will happen will happen. Do what you feel is right and keep your eyes open for the next girl just in case nothing happens with your old girlfriend.

All the best - Bud.