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Ex-boyfriend's Buddy Still Just Frineds


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#1 Guest_6stringlover_*

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Posted 05 February 2008 - 01:37 AM

Master The Fine Art of Talking to Women?

What should you look for to know whether he/she's truthful and suitable mate for you? Date a woman on par with you. As in don't reach out of your league.

How to Start and Keep The Conversation Going?

How to lead casual conversation with a romantic spark? Aspects of flirting that distinguish it from the ordinary courtesy. What are attraction turn-offs for most people?

How to Talk to Women Without Seeming Desperate?

How to find something in common to talk about? What kind of signs do girls give you when they're interested? Follow this advice and eventually you will have to work on figuring out which girls you want to keep.

I recently met a woman who I like very much. She is younger than me, which is great because I'd like to have more children someday. She is very attractive, easy to be around, so much so that when I'm with her I feel as if we've known each other forever; something that I have not experienced many times in my life. Unfortunately, she's made some bad decisions in the past including having a child out of wedlock with a guy who did not care about her whom she is estranged from. On top of that, she spends a lot of time with her most recent (November 2007) ex-boyfriend's buddy. She claims this "buddy" is strictly a friend, nothing more. This of course, is a revelation discovered AFTER we went out on a couple of unbelievably nice dates. I have been single for 5 years after losing my wife (car accident), and I have been out with many women since that time and most have been duds. However, as I have said prevously, dates with this girl have been completely out of the world. In terms of facts, she has no formal education other than high school, and she lives with her grandmother.

That being said, the hanging around with the ex-boyfriend's buddy really bothers me because I'm not sure if this other guy (if you can call it that) thinks of HER as his FRIEND. My guess is that he's using this platonic angle to get in with the girl while at the same time saving face with his friend (the ex-boyfriend). I could be all wrong about this, but there's something inside my gut that tells me something just isn't right about this picture.

In just a short period of time, I have found myself becoming very fond of someone I just met which frightens me because I don't want to get caught up in something as complex as I can imagine this situation could become. There are many reasons why this girl COULD be wrong for me, but at the same time, there are just as many reasons why she could be WONDERFUL. We recently had plans to go out again, but I cancelled them because I can't decide what to do. Since that time, she has continued to phone me and in a conversation this evening, she asked if she'd done anything to make me mad.

It's been a long, long time since I had these feelings about someone (I was happily married for 13 years before my late-wife passed). I'm not sure if I'm somehow purposely sabotoging a potentially good thing or if my practical side is giving me good advice to avoid a bad situation. I have a child of my own and a lot to lose if I became tangled up with the wrong woman. Any thoughts on how to handle this?

#2 Guest_Bud_*

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Posted 06 February 2008 - 09:44 AM

Dear 6stringlover

From the sounds of things you are allowing your anxieties for this new relationship get the better of you.

Unless you are willing to address this problem you are only going to continue making your decisions based on fear.

Right at this point in time you are contemplating throwing away this relationship on nothing but a hunch.

Even though this friend of hers might desire her, it may be the case that she only sees him as a friend and you as something more. Are you going to continue to punish her just because she is friends with him?

Find out for certain whether there is something going on between them before you cancel any more dates. Even though it might be extremely uncomfortable for you the best way to put your mind at ease would be to have a face to face meeting with the both of them.

Might I suggest that you get one of your friends to throw a party of sorts and then get her to invite her friend to come along. You will be able to obtain a lot from meeting him in person and the way that they will interact

with one another. It could be the case that you wind up hating him or it could be the case that you might get to like him too. Find out whether he is an actual threat to your relationship before you continue to sabotage it any further.

All the best - Bud.




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