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I have never had a boyfriend. I used to make an effort when I was younger but I made such a mess of things that I just came to the conclusion that I was useless with men.
I now think that I am simply not good enough to attract anybody. The thing is I have loads of male friends and I go out quite a lot with them. With these thoughts I know there is no way I would ever ask a man out. I couldn't imagine a man wanting to be with me. How can I stop thinking so negatively?
For average looking girls the dating game is a "numbers game". You have to get confident approaching men in the only possible way: approaching a lot of men. And of course, be prepared to accept a lot of rejection.
Expect to get rejected by at least 3 men before getting the first positive results. Most of them will also accept casual chatter, a drink or coffee date with you but end up in a friend zone.
When a man says you "Let Just Be Friends" he is actually saying "You don't turn me on and will NEVER have sex with me" in a nice way. Rejection is an odd thing. It's good because it means you're actually doing something in the right direction instead of feeling powerless and hopeless.
But it may cause you several undesirable feelings ranging from a slight embarrassment to a crushed self-esteem. The only way to get over those feelings is to experience it over and over again.
Bottom line: Quite frankly, rejection never got easier to absorb. If anything, for the most part, what ever self esteem I had worked hard to build up, was chipped away by all the rejections. The best thing for shy girls here to do is to try and establish a good deal amount of friendships with as many people as possible, of both sexes, and try to network your way into a relationship.
Ask them to set you up with single guys you know, attend parties, etc. Just approaching random men is not a good idea for most women. To learn more about how shy women should approach and court men, refer to e-books in the series “ Relationships: Puzzles and Answers ” :
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Approaching men: The path of least resistance
Most women do not pick up on signs very well. So many girls miss it. A proactive approach which gets your mind thinking positively instead of negatively will lead to success ever playing in dating game. If you're trying too hard to find out what you're supposed to do, you're tuned into your own thoughts instead of the signals someone is sending you.
Power words: Start and keep the conversation going
There is a high possibility that a man is interested in you and would like to become more than friends with you. A man might test your interest in him in an excessive way, so just play it cool like he's not the first one to come up to you. More than likely he will stop the flirty moves unless he really likes you.
Lead conversation: Techniques for deepening communication
The key to being successful with men is to be confident and to have good interpersonal skills. In order for you to develop speaking confidently to men you will need to practice. Sometimes men expect women to have a sign up on their head saying "I like you" when they are trying to read and interpret the woman they are trying to create an interest in.
How to meet men online: dating service vs. personal ads?
If you are looking to meeting man online I’m about to reveal my impressions about that way of meeting people. Men love fantasies, and there is no safer place to explore these than the internet. They might be serious about trying to find someone, or maybe not. I was pleasantly surprised at the looks of some of them.
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