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For the past several weeks a colleague has paid me compliments, one after another. One day he tells me how beautiful my hair looks. The next time he tells me how gorgeous my blue eyes are. This fellow is 20 years YOUNGER than me and extremely attractive. We are BOTH married. I have to admit the flattery is very uplifting. My gorgeous colleague is moving in 2 weeks.
When you live in a marriage with a partner who can't see you (you're invisible) someone paying attention to you is so uplifting and wonderful. I am going to miss it so much. He's leaving me soon for business reasons. It just makes me feel sick inside. I can barely speak to this guy; he makes me tremble. I have resigned myself to the fact that some things are just never meant to be. Fantasy is a healthy thing.
With compliments, never look at "the man" per se, listen to his words. You'll hear compliments again from others who are not leaving in a few weeks. You may not be "looking" for intimacy from the colleague, but you are VERY VULNERABLE right now due to lack of affection from your husband.
You are feeling desirable and sexy from him and zero from your husband. That vulnerability is what will cause you to do something you did not plan.
We hear of people who say "it just happened", that is what they're talking about. A vulnerability or void in their lives causes them to act out of character, and once you do it, it's like a sneeze. You can't take it back.
Keep that in mind and protect your heart from that quick love, but again, enjoy all his nice compliments, and keep up the good work on your appearance. If you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you look good.
Bottom line: Let him know you value the relationship, but you like it to be like old times. Ask him point blank (don't wonder or assume) if there is anybody else. If you feel he does have someone else (he usually won't admit it), then ask yourself if you can continue to live like this and be happy.
If not, start making necessary changes in your life that will make you happy. Do not think of him. Think of yourself. Life is too short to be unhappy because of one person. For more tips about pursuing your passion, refer to e-books in the series “ Relationships: Puzzles and Answers ” :
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