My Question: I have a good working relationship with a woman who I got attracted to over time. I think this would be a good opportunity to ask her on a date, coming up with something that’s not going to get you into trouble at work. I have a lady colleague of mine falling in love with a man in the office.
I don’t want to seem too timid, so I said to her, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but I would like to take her out sometime. She said it’s against her ethics to date a co-worker, and then she said something about introducing me to some girl in another department. I said sorry I am not interested in anyone else right now, and that I have had a crush on her since I started working there.
Has anyone ever had a succesful office romance?
She really was sending very, very mixed signals. All of her behavior pointed to interest in you. It seems to me that for some reason, she decided against a date with you. Attraction is an emotion that can’t be controlled whether you’re married or not so it’s perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed about.
I would not try to figure this out, because she told you she doesn’t date co-workers. You don’t have to agree with that, but you should accept it, and that will take some time because you are disappointed. At least you know why, as opposed to not knowing.
Successfully identified an office romance?
The hardest thing for you to do is to accept that for what it is. At least she gave you a reason, and did not leave you wondering why. But maybe this is for the better. I would no longer express any interest in her or accept any gifts at all from her. high stress situations cause your body to confuse liking a person with stress. It’s kind of the same reason why young couples usually go to an amusement park on the first date or a scary movie. Stress makes you like a person.
She let you know where she stands. Considering that you want to portray yourself as a pillar of strength that she can count on, you do not want to loose your temper in front of her. Go outside the stress and you probably won’t like the person the same way. Which is why the whole secretary-boss relationship never works out. Outside the job, it’s boring. It’s the thrill he likes, not necessarily the person.
Consequences and benefits of hooking up with a girl at work?
The best thing for you is to continue to be polite when you see her at work, but simply move on. Office romance can be very tricky to maneuver. I would advise against EVER continuing to pursue someone who has told you why they won’t date you. No means no. Other hints: well you’ll discover yourself as the story continues in e-books.
You will seem desperate if you continue to show interest in her. It is never good for anyone to seem desperate. Socialize outside of your job and hopefully you will meet someone who would love to go on a date with you. For more tips about office romance, refer to e-books in series “ Relationships: Puzzles and Answers ”